As soon as night falls...

The movers came today and dropped off our stuff. Finally, the house feels like a home even with most of the stuff still boxed up. We're unpacking things slowly. No big rush as we have a pretty good amount of storage space with a shed/garage in the backyard and we'd be perfectly fine not completely filling the house up. However, that's not stopping Jess from actively trying to acquire more things, by hook or by crook.

I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones affecting her or if she's always had a criminal streak, but Jess decided sometime today to raid the stuff left out by our neighbors for trash. I was even an unknowing accomplice as she asked me to drive by the neighbor's house on the way to pick up a pizza.

"Drive slow," she whispered as we went down the block. "Look. There it is. I'm gonna get that patio umbrella tonight."

"The one there in the trash can?"

"Yeah," she said. "That thing's mine as soon as night falls."

"Isn't that like stealing?"

"No," she insisted. "They're not using it anymore. It's recycling."

The recycling explanation seemed perfectly reasonable, except for the sinister little snicker after she said it. "Yeah," she said quietly. "It's recycling."

Sure enough, after dinner, she hitched up her hoodie and asked if I was sure I didn't want to help her out.

"No thanks, but good luck avoiding the cops."

She almost hissed at me, "Dexter. You better not call the cops on your wife."

Then she squinted as she said, "I'd kill a snitch. I'm not saying I have. I'm not saying I haven't. Just that I would."

I'm just kidding about that last little bit about Jess implying that she'd killed a snitch, but everything else up to that point was true. Anyways, she left and came back a few minutes later tapping quietly on the back door.

"Turn the light on and check out my haul!"

She had come back with a patio umbrella and a lawn chair. "Look! It's perfectly good!" Then she threw her head back into the night and cackled. I had no idea that recycling could tickle her funny bone like that. "YA-HA! It's all perfectly good!"

In any case, I hope that junior doesn't inherent those instincts because I'm afraid it might be genetic. I distinctly remember going on a walk with Jess and her mom one day when we walked by a box left out by the curb filled with what looked like broken bathroom tiles. Jess's mom was a little too excited about taking them for use in art projects. I told her, "You know. Those look like bathroom tiles. They've probably been peed on." But that didn't stop her from taking them then and nothing was going to stop Jess from taking the patio furniture tonight.

If we have a girl, we'll have to name her Bonnie Parker Bustarde.