Front of the House

There it is. The front of the house. That's where the magic happens.

House tour

The moving guys will be arriving Monday. If everything goes as plans, this week will be the first week in over a month where I won't have to look forward to falling asleep on an air mattress. I'll miss you, air mattress. We had some good times, and by "good" I mean "sometimes cold and often uncomfortable". I'm sure there will be plenty of stories once we're operating at normal capacity.

In the meantime, here are some photos of the house:

This is the back of the house. The photos came off of my phone in some random order and I was too lazy to rearrange them. That deck is where the BBQ is going to be stationed. The back door leads to our little laundry area. The place came with a washer and dryer. The dryer didn't seem to work at first, but after a little handyman investigating, I found a ton of lint stuck in the vent outside. It was really bad. Either the guy who lived here before us never used the dryer, or he just liked wearing wet, warm underwears.

The kitchen is nice and cozy. That's our microwave up there on the fridge. The electrical is pretty old here and not all of the plugs are three pronged. The top of the fridge is the only place where the microwave could go. It actually works OK up there, though I did spill macaroni and cheese on my head the other night. I burnt the top of my left ear pretty bad. I'm just kidding. The microwave is actually sitting on the dryer in the laundry room.

Our bathroom is pretty small. It's even smaller than the bathroom we had in the condo. It's cozy though and the hot water heater is in the closet just behind Jess so we don't have to wait a long time for the shower to get warm. You see how everything's green? I picked out those colors before Jess moved out because I knew she liked the color green. When she first saw my design decisions, the first thing she said was, "This would look really cool in reds." Oh well.

That's the little center area of the house. Jess loves our coat rack. The newspaper on the floor covers a very large intake vent. We haven't been running the heat or air conditioning, so it's not really hurting anything. Jess just likes keeping it covered for some reason. I think she's scared of floor vents.

That's Jess showing off our dining area. We're thinking of replacing the little chandelier above her with a ceiling fan. It's starting to get warm here and what we've discovered is that the evenings don't really cool off. It got up into the 80s today and right now at 10:30 at night, it's still like 76 degrees outside. We're going to be drinking a lot of lemonade and sweet tea on hot summer days while fanning ourselves with straw hats and saying "Lordy! Lordy-lordy-lordy!"

And that last one is of our little laundry area. Like I said, something weird happened with the photos that came off the phone, so I don't have a picture of the front of the house. I'll take more tomorrow. Sorry bout that!

Photos from my phone...

We have these trees near my work and they're really pretty, but they smell like fish ass. One of my co-workers thinks they smell like seafood and wet concrete. I think they smell like the butt of a fish.






Before Jess got to Charlotte, I went to a Bobcats game with one of the guys from work and two of his buddies. The seats were great. Third row. That's a photo of a children's Irish dance troup during halftime. Adam Morrison kept turning and looking right at us from the bench. I think it's cause he'd never seen a Filipino guy in Bobcats Arena before.




That's a photo of Kimi the Cat looking out our front window. Kimi's really long when he stretches out like that. He's like some sort of mongoose. You can also see how we don't have any furniture in the house yet.






We've been eating an excessive amount of chicken since we've become Southerners. The number 7 at Chick-Fil-A is my favorite cause it comes with the fries and the coleslaw. Look how big that piece of chicken is! The bun can't stop that chicken. It can only hope to contain it.




That's our front room. That chair that Jess is standing next to is a video-game rocking chair that I bought so I'd have someplace to sit. When Jess was still in San Diego, I'd move the chair from room to room depending on what I was doing. It was dining room furniture, patio furniture, bedroom furniture. Most days, without TV, internet or radio, I'd put it in the corner and read quietly.





That's a photo of the cat carrier with the hole torn in the side. I tried to get Kimi to look at the bag for the photo, but he didn't even acknowledge it. The best I could get was for him to make a dismissive face like, you call that a bag? I've left tougher stuff in the litter box. Unfortunately, I didn't take the photo quick enough.

Cats on a plane

Hey all,

Jess, Kimi, Juan and I are all safe and sound at home in Charlotte. The cats are adjusting to the place. Exploring all the rooms and what not. They keep managing to find places to disappear, only to reappear after we're convinced that they've somehow escaped. Eventually, I'm sure they'll be comfortable enough that we'll let them out to explore the yard and the dog-filled neighborhood. So the house is nice and cozy now.

On the other hand, the trip was a NIGHTMARE.

At the airport security check, they make you walk through the security gate with the cat in your hands, out of the bag. With all the airport security stuff, they want to make sure to run the bags through the x-ray machine. After walking through with Kimi, I noticed that the security guy running the machine was just sitting there, watching Jess get Juan out of the bag while I was on the other side of the checkpoint waiting with a squirming cat in my arms. The security guy eventually made eye-contact with me and I made indications like, Hey can you maybe get my bag through? I made all the correct indications, holding Kimi up, glancing at the x-ray machine, glancing back down at the cat, making friendly eyes. All I got back from security was a mean looking glare while the belt remained motionless.

Apparently, the security guys figure it's well within Orange Alert standards to let two people stand around with two panicked cats outside of their carriers at security check. If you're a terrorist flying on U.S. Airways, then the trick is to have two or more people bring cats, because apparently, they'll make you take them all out at the same time while they sit and stare, not at the x-ray machine looking for explosive devices in the cat carriers, but at the ceiling, or travelers in line, or at each other. At the key moment when you're looking to do your evil plans, just let all the cats go at the same time. Complete pandemonium. Guaranteed virgins in the afterlife.

When Jess got through, we just stood there for a bit with our cats in our arms. I'm not kidding when I say that the guy wasn't looking at the x-ray monitor. I nudged Jess a little bit and quietly said, "I thought the plan was to get one cat completely through before going through with the other one."

Jess replied in a louder voice, "They made me go through." And then even louder she added, "They just like being ASSHOLES." That got another glare from the x-ray guy.

Luckily, once the bags were completely through, both cats were anxious to get back inside where it was dark and safe. At that point, we thought we were so close to being done with the whole thing. So close.

So close.

Up to this point, we hadn't heard a peep out of the cats while they were in the cases. Once we were on the plane, Juan started mewing and Jess was a little nervous that he would be loud. Kimi hadn't made any sort of noise at all. I managed to squeeze his bag under the seat in front of me and I snuggled my feet in on either side of the case. Reaching down, I gave the side of the case a little pet to try to reassure him.

About an hour into the red-eye flight, Kimi started rustling around his bag. I figured he was nervous and just looking to get out, so gave him a little pat while I tried to get a little more rest. An hour later, he rustled a little more. A little more urgent. A little firmer of a pat.

With about an hour to go before we land, Kimi started running around the bag. He'd literally begun to throw his body into the sides of the bag. This time, when I reached down to give him a pat, he bit my finger through the side mesh.

I mentioned to Jess how Kimi was starting to lose it, but all she could really do was give a sympathetic look and shrug. Hunching over, she tried to get in close to make nice comforting noises at Kimi to see if that would help. I reached over to give him another one of my world famous pats through the side of the carrier only to feel Kimi's fuzzy head and ears.

I gave him a couple of scratches behind the ear before wondering, Why couldn't I feel Kimi's furry head before? Holy head! Kimi had poked his head through the side of the bag and was staring straight up at us. He had a paw just under his chin and he was actively trying to make the hole bigger to get out.

After scrambling around and crawling around our seats and managing to knock ourselves into pretty much everybody within our immediate vicinity, Jess was on the case. Her assessment, "He tore a hole in the side of the bag."

"He didn't just manage to work the zipper somehow?"

"No. There's a hole."

Since we were in the last row (last to get off the plane!), the flight attendants were actually just behind us. They had been chatting very loudly over the entire flight so I figured they might have a chance to help. I explained the situation and asked if there was anything they could do.

The first one replied, "Nope," and turned away to resume the conversation. "Weird about those pet bags, isn't it? Anyways, Mary tells me-"

I tried again, "You don't have duct tape? A stapler?"

"No," she said sympathetically. She perked up a little. "I have a plastic bag," she offered hopefully. "You could cover the hole over with that."

I thought for a couple of seconds about wrapping Kimi's exposed head in a bag labeled "Danger of suffocation", but eventually my street smarts kicked in and I turned the bag down.

"We'll figure something out," I said.

"Good luck! Anyways, Mary tells me..."

I turned back around to see that Jess has got a good looking grip on Kimi, keeping him in the bag and away from the hole. Stuffing my hand into the newly made hole, I sat back down next to Jess and put the case on my lap. At least Kimi wasn't biting me. He was mostly just ramming his head into my hand to try to get to his path to freedom.

We started coming up with various plans of action for getting off of this plane and back to our house. I felt like I would be OK walking with the case with one hand stuffed into the hole. Waiting around for our checked luggage would be a chore though and we debated going home via cab first and then coming back for the rest once our car arrived.

As we debated, I smelled something not unlike cat piss.

At least the bags are leak-proof, I thought. Then a second thought. They were supposed to be escape-proof too.

I reached around the side of the bag and felt wetness. The other side of the bag revealed more wetness. I felt my jeans and unless I had peed on myself out of excitement and not noticed, then my jeans were soaked with urine from an external source. My jacket was quickly getting turned into a toilet as well. Jess had pulled the carrier's cushion out of the bag while trying to get some control of the situation earlier. Apparently, the cushion was supposed to double as absorbent material and without it, I was carrying a sieve. I turned to Jess and cheerfully mentioned that Kimi had peed in the carrier and that it was leaking out of both sides.

She stared at me for a moment. "Well that's just fucking great."

So there I was... A feral cat in a bag on my lap... My hand in the bag wrestling the irritated animal... My jeans soaked in urine... Turbulence is jostling us around... Flight attendants directly behind me talking loudly about Mary and her unbelievable antics...

Now, I've never been tortured and I'm absolutely positive that there are worse situations for somebody to be in... But anyway...

That was actually about rock bottom, because Jess suddenly came up with the idea of rolling up the cushion that she had cleared out earlier to stuff into the hole. That, combined with the lights turning on in the cabin and Kimi realizing that escaping the bag might not be the best thing for his own personal safety settled the issue of Kimi actively trying to get out.

We managed to get off the plane with little incident and while we were taking a little break and trying to decide how best to get home and what to do with our luggage, the baggage return carriage turned on and our checked bags were literally three of the first five pieces that came through. You're kidding! Something swings our way!

The cabbie got us home quickly. The cats were nervous in the new place, but they settled down. Jess and I took a nap and got some lunch that we ate at Freedom Park, which is really nice and very close to the house. The car arrived OK. Everything is settling down and our nightmare trip has officially turned into a funny story that we can tell people about traveling with cats.

I still have to drop my jacket off at the dry cleaners though.